Nolans new favorite phrase to say to me.
Yesterday was the first day that I seriously started questioning my ability as a mother. It started off great! I felt rested, Jovi was down for a nap and Nolan was playing great by himself. I put on an exercise dvd and not more then ten minutes passed and Jovi woke up early from her nap. I bounced her back to sleep on our ball put her back to bed and 10 minutes later the same thing. I bounced her again almost got her back to sleep and Nolan starts pestering me for my phone. I say No because he's seriously addicted and Jovi starts crying. More bouncing, more pestering and more No's. This cycle continues all morning long except Nolan's determination has now moved onto watching a movie, again it's a big fat no, because TV time is for after naps and it's not even lunch time yet. More crying, more bouncing, more arguing and lots more frustration. By this time Nolan's getting defiant...with everything. Now I'm breastfeeding, he knows it so more pestering. Finally, Jovi's down for a nap and I cave and give Nolan my phone so I can finally take a shower and have some peace and quiet.
I wish I could say that I got things under control in the shower but honestly it didn't happen. Things got a bit better but it was still a rotten day. It wasn't until last night when everyone was in bed that I realized that all of this was my own fault. I woke up with a list I wanted to accomplish and when things didn't turn out like I wanted I got frustrated and took it out on my boy.
I know I am bound to have more days like yesterday and probably even worse but at the end of the day I learned something from it and I'm so grateful for a new day to do things differently.
Today there have been Yes's instead of No's, consequences instead of anger or arguing and fun instead of frustration.